So if you have been following the journey of the 21 days Daniel fast journey, you will know that we are one week into the fast and today was the first day that I almost fell into temptation with food. Today we will be discussing dealing with temptations
The previous 6 days had been easy due to being at home 95% of the time. The only reason I leave my house is to pick up my kids from school. I work from home and I run my business from home so I have no need to go out. Plus, let us not forget the pandemic that has impacted every area of our lives
Sometimes we can look at someone elses sin and judge them and think that what they have done is a lot worse than the sin we commit. The same mentality can apply to temptation. Someone may be tempted by pornograph while someone else may be tempted by food. The same self disciple is requires for both scenarios.
What the Daniel fast is teaching me
I realised that I struggle with food, I eat when I am stressed, I eat when I am bored and I am a super foodie who has a lot of intolerances so I binge on the ‘healthy foods’ I am allowed to eat. This is known as gluttony and a lot of the times we can treat it like it is no big deal until the scales tell us otherwise.
My day was extremely stressful, I had to take my mum to the airport and bring her back as they will not allow her to board the plan without a covid certificate. This meant I had to carry all her suitcases from the cab, into the the airport and do the same thing back home.
All I wanted to do was eat, eat to ease my stress levels and to make matters worse, my mum only had African food filled with meat.
Dealing with temptation during the Daniel Fast
As we arrived back to her house, I was tempted to just go into the fridge and grab some food. It was a real battle, I was having a full blown conversation in my head. I was trying to justify why I am allowed to eat food that is off the Daniel Fast plan. I told myself that God will understand.
Have you every tried to justify your compromise?
The good thing is that I managed to talk myself out of compromising. It is so true when the bible says that God does not tempt us.
No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. 1 Corinthians 10:13
This really taught me that I am capable of not following my initial thoughts or desires but I am able to able to implement self discipline in anything I put my mind to. God has given us the ability to deal with any temptation that comes our way and we do not need to be bound or addicted to anything.
It is currently day 4 and 5 of the fast and prayer needs to become a priority. Learning to dedicate time to actually praying is essential and I have noticed that going into prayer does not excite me as I know it should. If we are honest and transparent, you will probably admit the same thing.
There are other things in my life that I am more excited about and look forward to do, for example, eating.lol. I enjoy making new meals, presenting them nicely and eating it or watching programmes on Youtube or Netflix. What excites you more than prayer?
Daniel Fast Experience priorities and prayer
Acknowledging our flaws does not mean we have to stay that way. After doing my reading and devotions of the day I realised that as long as I have the intention to priorities prayer, the more likely I will do it. One of the devotions made me realised that I am sitting on inheritance but not claiming it.
Imagine knowing that someone has left you with an inheritance of 20 million, you know how to claim it, you have been informed that it is yours but choosing or refusing to claim it. This is exactly the same thing we are doing when it comes to prayer.
We have the JESUS CHRIST credit card and we are allowed to use it but instead of going to the shops we are choosing to stay at home and be miserable. When you start to see the value in prayer, your desire for it changes or should I say increases.
HOW TO PRAY when you don’t enjoy it
To make the statement that we do not enjoy prayer means we are basing it on feelings.
Prayer is not about feelings, it’s about connection
The core foundation of Christianity is relationship, and relationship is developed through connection. We this changed mindset let us talk about how to actually do it in our daily lives
Tips on how to pray
I have seen for acronym PRAY to stand for PRAISE – REPENT – ASK – YIELD
PRAISE – Praise is how you are to enter into the presence of God (Singing, or play some praise and worship in the background if it helps)
REPENT – Taking the time to ask God to search your heart and help you repent from anything that has come between you and him. Or asking God to reveal any sin in your life you may be overlooking.
YIELD – Yeilding is when you stop talking , and you wait, listen. and seek to hear from God
Don’t worry about the time, if you pray for 5mins or 2 hours, it doesn’t matter right now. Just do it
I realised that I actually do not priorities my time with God. I do not commit time to actually spend time with God. The worse thing is that I know that it is my source, it is my lifeline but I neglect it for other things that do not feed my spirit or help me to grow as a Christian woman or a faith based business woman. Doing this Daniel Fast is highlighting to me the areas I lack in and we could say that this is part of the process in my spiritual walk but sometimes we can identify a flaw but do nothing about it. I have decided to do something about it.
Struggling with the Daniel Fast Tips
I have read and watched a lot of peoples experiences and most of them mentioned their struggle with the food. I am finding the food element of the Daniel fast pretty easy, I think partially because I was already gluten, egg and daily free plus due to having IBS I was restricted on what I could eat already. So the tips I am about to share are working in process tips so here we go.
How to grow spiritually on the Daniel Fast
Many people say the Daniel Fast changed their lives. I want to have the same testimony so anything that requires growth needs to be watered. In order to grow spiritually we need to do spiritual things. So I decided to commit my self to a few rules on a daily basis
Rule one – Read daily
I am doing a 21 day Daniel fast devotion via YouVersion plus reading the book of Daniel – I have committed to achieving this no matter how I feel or what time with the 24 hours of the day. It has to be done
Rule two – Pick a personalised devotion
Two areas of my life that I need help and clarity in are in my business and in building meaningful relationships with people and being consistent with it. I love and care about people but I know that I am capable of sharing and. showing people that I love and care about them through my actions. So during this fast, I want to have a break through and see a change in my attitude and character because there is no such thing as this is just who I am. We all have the ability to grow and develop in areas
Rule three – Pray in your own way
Sometimes we compare ourselves to others when God has already told you that he accepts you for who you are. You do not have to change the style or length of time of your prayer because you are fasting. If it happens naturally then praise God, but as I mentioned before, anything that needs to grow needs to be watered. The more you do something the easier it becomes and the better it gets.
Having IBS and doing the Daniel Fast
The Daniel Fast is vegan based so it includes a lot of vegetables, a lot of high fodmap vegetables like beans and onion and garlic. The average western diet accounts for only 15% being fibre. On the Daniel Fast that can go up to about 40 – 50% at times and this does not sit well with people like me.
I have IBS-c and suffer from a lot of bloating and gas and this is exactly what happened on day 1 – 3 of the fast. I was extremely bloated that I felt sick. My stomach had extended by about 10 inches and I looked 5 months pregnant.
Give your stomach a break
I tried peppermint capsules which usually helps but didn’t this time so I had to give my stomach a break and just do a juice fast for about 18 hours. Giving my stomach time to rest. In this time I went back to the drawing board of my Daniel fast plan and review what I can actually eat that will minimise a flaw up. So all the high Fodmap ingredients needed to either go or reduce drastically.
Plan your meals and be adaptable
Plan your meals so they are both Daniel fast compliant but also low Fodmap as much as possible. I did this by watching general vegan recipe videos and low Fodmap recipes and adapt them to fall in line with the fast.
We are in a season of uncertainty, a season of not being able to predict our tomorrow and it can feel very unsettling. We are use to living a life believing that we have the ability to control our lives and our day but this ‘PANDEMIC’ has thrown all of that false believe out of the window.
I recall going to the shops and seeing shelves empty, seeing people panic buy and I must admit, I got caught up in the craze. But my husband decided that we need to see everything for what it really is. We are living in the end times and Jesus is coming back for his church.
The truth is that, our pastor was mentioning the return of Christ, nearly every week but it’s like we became so use to hearing it that we become desensitised to the expression.
UNTIL a prophecy was released into the congregation. God himself spoke and told us that He is coming soon so no time to play church. No time to pretend that we are saved when our lives reflect something else.
HOW TO COPE
Firstly you need to know what the bible says
These are words spoken by Jesus, letting us know the signs of the end times.
Luke 21:10-13New International Version (NIV)
10 Then he said to them: “Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom.11 There will be great earthquakes, famines and pestilences in various places, and fearful events and great signs from heaven.
12 “But before all this, they will seize you and persecute you. They will hand you over to synagogues and put you in prison, and you will be brought before kings and governors, and all on account of my name.13 And so you will bear testimony to me.
Matthew 24:6-7New International Version (NIV)
6 You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come.7 Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places.
We need to rest assured that everything that is happening needs to happen. It is just for a season and God is in control.
Secondly, check yourself.
The bible teaches us to test ourselves to know that we are in the faith. Take a few minutes and reflect and evaluate what you REALLY believe. Do you really believe in what the bible teaches, do you believe in the words of Jesus. Do you live a life that brings glory to God? If not, then it is time to make a decision.
2 Corinthians 13: 5 Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realise that Christ Jesus is in you–unless, of course, you fail the test?
Thirdly, Trust GOD and Wash YOUR HANDS
Even through we can find peace in knowing the word of God, it is also wise to take the necessary precautions to keep yourself and family safe. Like in Passover story, the Israelites where instructed to put blood on their doorpost and stay indoors. Only a fool, will say ‘ I am covered so I will go out’. Don’t be a fool and think that if you put yourself in harms way that it is God’s duty to save you. Be wise and take action. Plus, Check out a video I created with my husband on how we need to be as christians during this Covid- 19 pandemic.
Making Jesus my First Goal! The key questions is , are you setting all these goals but forgetting the number one focus. Putting God first?
Is Jesus your First Goal? Goal Setting
Being an ambitious and driven woman, I am all for goal setting and striving for excellence but in setting goals and working towards them, God convicted me about putting him first. God has given us the promises in his word that if we put Him first then everything else in our lives will work out. So why do we rush around setting goals, creating vision boards, buying courses, going to events if we have not got our priority in check. Have you consciously made Jesus your first goal?
MATTHEW 10 : 37
37 “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
Second Scripture : LUKE 12: 31
Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need.
Christianity is all about relationship. Are you on the same page with God in the secret place
Do you desire a relationship
If you do not desire a relationship, you will not have it. If you do not believe that you want or desire it then as humans we will self sabotage and we will never have that relationship unless we desire it.
What do I need to build this relationship – Talk
Praying, speaking, pouring your hard out to him.
Get to know God
Read your bible – Show an interest in who God is. Get to know him
Top Tip : The Principle of the First 15
Pray for 5 mins
Read for 5 mins
Write for 5 mins – Journal because
Desire the will of God
What does God want you to do. What mark do you want me to leave on this earth Lord.
In today’s post we have a guest writer and she wanted to share how trusting God and having crazy faith can pay off.
The Power of Prayer
Here is my testimony about the power of prayer – Antigua:
It’s been a LONGG time coming, but finally!!
Last year, the key thing I needed to work on was my prayer life. I don’t know but sometimes I think we play it too safe with our prayers, and often times our requests to God are mundane. I have read stories in the Bible where God has been able to do remarkable things and I have even heard jaw dropping testimonies, but yet I failed to believe the same in my own life. However, this time, it’s like God wanted to show me that He can go beyond & that He wanted to demonstrate just how powerful He is. I then realised that it was time for me to let my requests match the God that I serve, increase my faith in Him & His ability to do miracles.
My Crazy Faith Prayer List
This inspired me to create what I call a 𝑪𝒓𝒂𝒛𝒚 𝑭𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑷𝒓𝒂𝒚𝒆𝒓 𝑳𝒊𝒔𝒕.This consists of requests which deep down, I would love to see happen, but on a regular day it probably wouldn’t (this is D O U B T)… sooo instead I would then pray & genuinely believe that in time these things would come to pass (this is F A I T H).
Best believe God was ticking off those boxes!!✅ ..To the point where I had to share my testimony at church to encourage my church family…
Crazy Faith in Action
However, there was 1 prayer on my list which was ‘𝑷𝒓𝒂𝒚 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒂 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒏 𝑨𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒈𝒖𝒂🇦🇬 𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑺 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒇𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 ‘
Let me explain the significance of this request..
My church are part of a Christian Fellowship which have a strong vision for World Evangelism, and during our annual Bible conferences, Pastors & their wives, who have a burden to spread the Gospel will announce which areas across the world they are going in to make an impact.
Antigua is a small island in the Caribbean, and for those who don’t know, my parents are from there & half of my entire family live over there.
I’ve visited the island a few times and have seen that people have a love for God, but not many are on the road to salvation. I desperately want them to get saved & be involved in a full gospel church where they can grow spiritually & see a REAL change in their lives, just like I have.
But can you imagineee, that throughout my life I’ve hardly met any other Antiguan’s in London and for most people, I’m literally the only one they know! Lol..so I knew this request was definitely going to be a test of my faith.
In Oct 2018, the International announcements were about to be made on the Thursday night of conference. I was so nervous that day, because at this point EVERYONE in my church knew what I prayed for and I am not gonna lie, I didn’t want to be disappointed. I wanted the end result to be a testimony to God’s faithfulness and an opportunity for others to be encouraged that God really does answer prayers, IF you have the FAITH to back it up.
So let me tell you…𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐃𝐎𝐔𝐁𝐓 𝐆𝐎𝐃
That night IT actually happened! The couple sitting in the row in front of me were announced to go into St. John’s Antigua. Not only was it the country I prayed for, but also the exact town where the majority of my family live, and the Pastor himself is Antiguan! Haha look at that!..It was an awesome moment, I just remember my church fam coming up to me saying ” OMDZ GOD ANSWERED YOUR PRAYER DEE!!
🏾🏾” 🤣 the excitement was real..& little did I know but some of them were praying too
I’m sorry but you could never put this down to a coincidence, this has God’s stamp ALL over it.
So fast forward to Nov 2019, my church were privileged to be the 1st ever Impact Team to the new church in Antigua. The pictures above speak for themselves. In the space of a week, we were able to maximise every opportunity we had to spread the gospel, via radio interviews with ZDK, outreach in the town, music on the float etc. It was LIT.
But most importantly, we saw over 20 people give their lives to Christ & amongst those, my aunty was healed of an issue in her knee that she’s had for years.
I wanted to share a snapshot of this trip with you guys so God could get the praise He deserves & because this whole experience shows 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐅 𝐏𝐑𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐑
Knowing our identity in Christ shapes and molds the way we view things and the decisions we make. I have decided to blog daily and focus on one chapter in the bible. Proverbs 31. This book is a cornerstone to what a godly woman ought to be and I believe that this series will reveal the love of God and also help me develop in understanding my purpose . We will start with a few verses each day and break it down .
Today we are focusing on Proverbs 31 vs1 – 3
The sayings of King Lemuel contain this message,a]”>[a]”>aa]”>] which his mother taught him.
2 O my son, O son of my womb, O son of my vows, 3 do not waste your strength on women, on those who ruin kings.
These verses are words from a wise mother to her son. In context, she is referring to warning the King from having too many foreign wives. In my view; men may rule but women have influence. If a man marries a woman of a different culture or belief, their children will take up what they are influenced by.
Bring this into modern day life. If a man gets with a lady of different standards or beliefs eventually someone or something will have to give. Have you heard of the term ‘ to be unequally yoked” this applies to every area of our lives.
Moral of the story
Don’t waste your time with people and things that do not add to you. Do not date people for the sake of it. Do not give your emotion and body to someone who has the potential to ruin you and your destiny.
Invest in building friendships, invest in getting to know yourself. When you truly know your self and your value, you will have more to offer.
So we have a special guest who wanted to share her testimony.
Hello my name is shireene AKA shazzyB and I had been suffering with depression for over 21 years,
My depression experience
I felt ashamed of myself, lost, angry, isolated like somehow I had failed. That’s what depression does to you it makes you feel like a terrible failure. People close to me didn’t know that I was suffering from crippling depression I learned to put on an amazing show to world to hide my shame, but that became more and more difficult, depression makes it tough to function and enjoy life like you once did. Just trying to get through the day can be overwhelming.
How depression affect me
It can interfere with your ability to work, study, eat, sleep, and enjoy life. Making any kind of decisions, reading, or watching television can seem really hard with depression because you can’t think clearly or follow what’s happening and there’s no way to feel better. Depression made me feel that there’s no way ever to feel good again. I would hold on to negative events and experiences and be unable to see positives. Falling asleep at night or staying asleep at all felt nearly impossible, or I could sleep excessively, but still wake up feeling tired or unrefreshed, despite the extra hours of sleep.
Sometimes i could not get out of bed, or feel exhausted all the time even when getting enough sleep. I would feel too tired to do simple daily tasks. Living that life is a nightmare, and to top it all I had to try to hide if from my kids when they come home from school and pretend i am functional; to be fair they played a big part to me fighting this, I used to fight with myself every day to get out of bed to just function.
My journey to salvation
In 2018 October this is where my life transformed I made a decision to go to a church called Potters house in Harrow. In this month i have never cried out for help or change in my life ever like this i feel to my knees and literally began to plead with God to help me get my life together, I continued to attend church I was determined to read the whole the bible and what began to happen was a miracle.
My healing process
I gave up smoking within two weeks of attending church, my depression lifted as if it was never there, if you truly know depression it just doesn’t go i was on medication, had counselling for this mental illness for years so when this change in my life was happening it was unbelievable.
I could not comprehend how this was actually happening until i realised, I have not had a helpless moment in weeks, I can shake myself out of feeling helpless, this was the awesome power of my father, God has literally reached inside me and taken my smoking addiction and this depression out of my actual being because I felt new like a different person.
It was a very overwhelming feeling i can’t really put in to words what it feels like to truly know that God has answered my prayers you have to experience it for yourself it’s the most beautiful experience you will ever have,
I can say I feel free like a massive weight has been lifted every day making life much better to live.
God is truly good, all he wants you to understand is he is the one and true God, I celebrate the reality of his presence in my life and still for the last 9 months I am still overwhelmed by the fact that my Heavenly healing and Loving Father God and I have an amazing relationship and he continues to work within me he will never forsake me and God your Father yes he is yours too can do the same for you all you need do is speak from your heart and ask him.
Peace and God bless I hope this helps.
Sharing true stories of what God is able to do in real lives is amazing. Feel free to share your story and see God name be glorified.
It’s one of the most uncontrollable, irrational feelings I have personally felt, and to anyone that hasn’t been through it before it can be quite hard to describing the feeling, as it is different from the momentary anxious feeling you would get before a job interview, or on a date.
But to those who are contending with this spirit, and to who this blog is aimed, that over-stimulated, paralysing ‘hot’ feeling is all too familiar…
My aim is not to belittle your experience with anxiety, because your experience may be different from mine, but it is just to share some tips that have personally helped me conquer anxiety in my life.
All things being said, here is my personal weapon holster for destroying anxiety attacks quickly:
1) Your breathing (deep slow breathing)
This may sound simple, and to some, ‘unspiritual’, but your breathing is one of the first things to go when having an anxiety attack.
In that moment when fight or flight kicks in, and your senses become acute to virtually everything around you, including your own breathing, TAKE CONTROL of your breathing with long, deep breaths.
Regulate your respiratory system, step outside and realise the world is bigger than the situation/room/place you’re in.
2) God’s strength/Your courage
With anxiety being so easily misunderstood (particularly in Christian circles who may incorrectly consider you unbelieving or fearful for allowing those feelings), it can be easy to beat yourself up about something almost involuntary at times.
What you MUST understand is that you are not weak for experiencing anxiety, but strong through Christ.
2 Corinthians 12:7-9 – “or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
Far from making you weaker, the fact that by the end of this post, you will be able to master this spirit through Christ’s power is STRENGTH. Just remember to boast in Christ when you do.
3) Your transparency (Tell someone you’re fighting anxiety)
I’m a private person i.e. I don’t feel comfortable telling anyone my business. But when it comes to anxiety, I realised eventually that to win this battle I had to expose what I was feeling, especially to those who’s opinion I cared the most.
Because my anxiety often magnified around people knowing I was acting weird, to the point where it played out. Therefore, if I am on the same page with everyone who’s opinion I care about, I have no real reason to feel anxious.
I remember being pulled into a meeting at work, at the height of my anxiety. My line manager and head of department told me they had been monitoring my frequent and long breaks. I was honest and told them I had anxiety, and to which they both apologised profusely, and shared with me they both suffered from anxiety.
From that day forward, my anxiety levels at work decreased.
A devil exposed is a devil defeated. Share with friends because your ‘weak moment’ will be another’s strength.
4) Your attitude (of gratitude and thanksgiving)
Now, I’m not a fan of trendy new-age affirmations or mantra-like repetitions, however, an attitude of gratitude is very scriptural.
The thought that “this life is God’s, not my own, and I’m just walking in what He has already laid out”, fills me with great comfort and peace.
It fills me with peace because I know I can trust God more than I can trust pure willpower or medicine.
Always remember; any thought that is ‘self’ focused, whether vain or depressing, is unhealthy. When we take our eyes off ourselves, we see GOD in a situation better.
This thought alone will sweep away anxiety. Replace you worry thoughts with worthy thoughts (Philippians 4:8).
Prayer point – “Lord, I’m grateful for what you’ve given me today, I’m grateful for this moment, thank you”.
5) Your voice (rebuke fear and doubt)
This is where a lot of you will stop reading. But don’t, because you will miss something important.
There was a great book written by A.W Tozer entitled “I talk back to the devil”. Sometimes, you’ve got to get violent with that thought of anxiety and see it for what it is, an assault against your well-being and life.
Now this may seem alien to you if you haven’t been brought up to pray in that way, however, we are fighting for peace in our minds and bodies, so we have to get serious.
Tell the spirit of anxiety it is weak and you have power over it through God.
6) God’s presence (take it to Him in prayer)
When soldiers fight, they get tired. Similarly, when you are fighting a battle against anxiety on a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual level, you get tired.
Invite God into your situation.
If God is near, you are OK;
If God can minister to you, like icy water on a hot day, you will be replenished.
However you cultivate/enter into the presence of God, whether it be through quiet reflection or praise and worship, take some time out of our week to really touch base with God, and let God replenish your mind. Once you are replenished, leave it in God’s hands by asking Him to go before you.
“The most powerful weapon against anxiety is the presence of God.”
7) These weapons (Mobilise the above points as weapons of war)
We are in a spiritual war; let these be your weapons.
I told a friend at my church going through anxiety “these are not just points, these are WEAPONS against anxiety”. Since then, she has used these techniques to overcome her anxiety in various scenarios.
I know how it is with anxiety; you can get pretty desperate after a while. But I want to reassure you that you don’t have to resort to pill-popping or herbal medicine to calm your nerves.
Let me be honest…I didn’t finish the story I began in weapon 3). That particular meeting with my managers ended with them offering me a visit to the occupational health nurse. I declined, and with me doing a bit more soul-searching, I put together these weapons and God delivered me from the power anxiety had over me.
You can kill off/destroy anxiety in your life if you use these weapons, and not just dismiss these as mere points in a blog.
Thank you for reading, and if you were blessed by what as written please drop a comment or share with someone who may benefit.
Do you want a man or do you really want a godly man? I have tried to make this a very practical list drawn from my own personal experience, looking for love in all the wrong places but finally being blessed with an amazing husband. Now, disclaimer, this is by no means an exhaustive list, but I would call it a good starting point also this post was written with the support of my husband.
There will be points in this list you will disagree with, that will make you laugh and will even challenge your direct situation.
My aim is to make you think, ladies. So if you’re not ready for this literary rollercoaster, feel free to step off the ride at the entrance and explore the other rides in the park.
But for all the rest of you still with me, buckle up.
He is committed to Jesus (VIRTUE – COMMITMENT)
C’mon, this is the first test! If he can’t commit to Almighty God, then the chances of him staying loyal to you are dramatically reduced. I’m not saying a non-Christian man is automatically a useless one but remember, this is about a godly man. Stay focused!
If you want godliness to be yours and your children’s portion, make sure he’s in the light.
(2 Corinthians 6:14) Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?
He’s not calling you at booty call hours (VIRTUE – SELF CONTROL)
This one isn’t just about phone calls ladies. Pray for a man that will have enough spirituality about him to uphold a righteous standard, even when no-one is watching. This is a good indicator of whether he will have enough conviction to uphold holy standards in marriage, like controlling himself at work, or controlling himself in front of a computer screen.
If you want to go deep, look for a man filled with The Spirit of God (notice I said THE Spirit, not ‘a spirit’). This is not just about speaking in tongues – this is about the fruit he displays in his life one of which is SELF CONTROL.
(Galatians 5:22-23) But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
He prays for you regularly (VIRTUE – HUMILITY)
Life is hard. And you will both hit times where it’s gonna take more than yourselves to get through. What you need is a praying man to call down spiritual forces to cover you, your household and your family.
It takes a humble man, after all, to admit he doesn’t know all the answers and seek guidance from a higher power. Does your man seek to bring God into as many situations as possible? Or is the sound of him praying as rare as a full moon on a cloudy afternoon?
(Ecclesiastes 4:12) 12 Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.
And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
He gets mad, but does not sin (VIRTUE – FORGIVENESS/INTROSPECTION)
What is he like when he is angry? Is he a gust of wind or a tempestuous tornado? Does he throw things? Does he strangle people? Does he make violent threats? These are all red flag moments and may potentially save you years or heartache and regret, and possibly spare you your life.
A furious man that will fly off the wheel at any given moment is nothing to play with, and as exciting as it may be that your man has an ‘edge’, it gets tired quickly and really isn’t worth you risking your life. Notice how I said ‘but not sin’. We all get upset, but maintaining self-control and not harbouring bitterness is essential in creating a happy atmosphere in a relationship.
Can he say sorry? There are few things worse than a pouting man. But there are few things better in a man than one who is willing to rise up out of the ‘zone of contention’, be the bigger man and seek reconciliation. After all, crazy plus crazy equals more crazy.
If he finds it hard to say sorry you don’t have a godly man.
(Matthew 6:15) But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
He won’t complain about paying the restaurant bill (VIRTUE – GENEROSITY)
This is controversial. Selfishness and love of self is the root to a lot of spiritual issues, period. But when it comes to your relationship and money, girll…you better pay attention!
In a modern era where women are often more able to be financially comfortable without a man, sharing in a relationship is a downplayed virtue. I remember my husband my husband asked me to pay for his burger when we were dating and I got mad. I was in shock that a man will ask me for a £1. Looking back now, paying at the restaurant is not the be and end all. Can he take care of you is the question to ask.
The old saying still holds: Your treasure is where your heart is (Matthew 6 vs 21)
Now, it should be said this should not to be confused with deliberately cleaning your man out of his last penny to test him, Miserly selfish men are only out for number one.
He treats the women in his life well (VIRTUE – KINDNESS)
How your man treats some of the most important women in your life is a SERIOUS indicator of how he will treat you. Does he push the women in his life around, or is he courteous? Does he have manners? Or is he disrespectful to his mother and aunties? How does he treat his younger sisters?
Believe it or not, how your man sees other women plays off in how he sees you. Find a man who will treat women in his life with respect as a precursor for how he will treat you.
(1 Timothy 5:2) ((Treat)) older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.
He can hold down a job for more than six months (VIRTUE – GRIT)
It is often said the workplace is the godly man’s training ground, and for good reason. Especially for a Christian, the modern workplace is filled with potential pitfalls of pride, HR horrors and floundering floozies flattering eyelids (say that five times fast!).
In the midst of all the difficult conversations that need navigating, scenarios where dishonesty may not only be permissible but encouraged and rewarded, and where infamous Christmas parties are a steaming wasteland of happy homes ruined by a drunken moment of stupidity, your man will need enough in him to make a stand, but KEEP A JOB. This balance act requires intelligence, godly wisdom and most of all grit; that he can grind even when every part of his flesh tells him to pack it in.
Can your man keep a job?
(Romans 8:18) I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.
Congratulations! You made it to the end of the list. How did your man score?
Be sure to cross-check your own attitudes with each and every one of these, as generosity, kindness, grit, forgiveness and humility are not exclusive to just men!
It is important to note that he may not have absolutely all of these, so don’t strike him of you list yet.